Good Days....and not so much days

I ended up staying in bed for two weeks. 1. Didn't have the energy 2. Passing out, and feeling like I was going to pass out 3. Way to nausiated For the last 4 days of those two weeks I threw up constantly. I remembered when my sister Heather was pregnant that after she threw up enough to make her so dehydrated she couldn't function, she'd go to the hospital and get hooked up to an IV. I decided it was worth a shot. I went to the ER last Saturday and they hooked me up, literally. After a few liters I went home. The next morning I felt like a new woman!!! Did my laundry, cleaned my house, and stayed up most the day. Jim got me this heart monitor thing and when it would get to 125-ish, I'd sit down. We even took the kids for a walk. Lilly and I felt cooped up so we rode the RZR behind the kids while Jim walked with them.



(thats Connor and Lauren in the jeep, Jaxon on the tractor, Jadyn in the tractor's trailor)
The next day felt alright, not super great like the day before, but pretty OK. I made it to WalMart...wasn't a great idea. I thought for sure the checker was going to have to carry me out. The next day wasn't all that good, I spent a lot of it in bed. I went to lunch with my friends...WAY not a good idea (not the company, but I thought for sure I was going to throw up my yummy ninja) and went and saw my friend Doug (I used to take care of his wife when I worked for a Home Health agency....he hadn't been feeling good, we sat and threw eachother pity parties...then he told me his brother got attacked by a GREAT WHITE SHARK when they were younger and he was a dive instructer and I know this part is random, but had to slip it in there..scary!). The next day, (yesterday) I spent most of it in bed, only threw up once. I'm starting to think that maybe I am metabolising water too fast? Maybe thats whats making me feel so rotten. Because the day after they hydrated me, aside from my heart, I felt totally normal....it was so great. I think mom needs to take up stealing and steal me a few bags and hydrate me every so many days. Can you work on that mom?

Can I just tell you the very hardest part for me is asking for and recieving help? Bev came yesterday to clean my fridge, (so sweet), and I sat there hating every moment...appreciated her at the same time. It embarresses me so so much. My sweet sisters, Bev, and mom take my kids every day and its so hard from me. Yea, I miss them...But the hardest part about it is relying on them. My kids are having a great time playing with their kids, so they don't care, but I am learning that it is so much more important to allow people to serve you than to serve sometimes. I think that I have really hurt my sister in laws feelings because I never ask them to take my kids unless I have to, and its not because I don't trust them but because I'd rather die that put them out...isn't that funny? You could probably ask either of them, or my moms whether they felt put out or not and they'd probably laugh at you. The day after my great day, I called the ward and asked who I needed to talk to to cancel the dinners the ward was bringing once a week (Jayme, Melina, Mom and Bev supply the other days). Melina gave me that what have so I didn't go through with it (hee hee I love you!), but it is so hard for me. Then I think about it and theres few things I enjoy more than making someone dinner, or taking their kids, or cleaning Misty's house when she was so big and pregnant that she couldn't bend over, or anything else like that because of how good I feel. I am not allowing someone else to feel that and its only my pride that keeps me from it. I do love when people brought me treats though...that doesn't bother me in the least! I hope everyone knows that when I'm a brat and act unappreciating, its not that I don't. I hope you all know how much I love you, how loved and cared for I have felt these last three weeks. I am learning. It usually takes me a while, but I am learning.