Best Day

So, since my vocal diagnosis, I have been doing therapy every week. Very frustrating, I can't really work, I have to tread so carefully, and that in itself is so frustrating. Its frustrating that even when after I have an amazing session, and I feel like my throat is relaxed and my speaking voice is even relaxed and not froggy, I get excited and turn on my radio after and try and sing and can't. It just didn't make sense that when trying to sing a song, some notes will work, some won't....but not consistant notes, my voice is completely unpredictable. So, on monday, I was having my session, and we decided to try a song. Just one simple phrase. We didn't try to sing the words, just different vowels. I sang it on an "E" vowel, and it worked great. Easy. So, Jackie asked me to sing it on a vowel that I chose. So, I just chose an "O" vowel and couldn't do it. So, I stopped right there and started voicing my frustrations. I told her that I didn't think that it made any sense that I could sing the notes on one vowel, and not the other. Then, it dawned on me. Certain vowels are harder because they are in the throat. That was why I cold sing some and not the others. So I told her that, and she mentioned that that was the reason why I had an easier time singing classical pieces and not the pieces that I am used to, because classical is typically sung more forward. Anyway, it dawned on me....if the throat has nerve damage, don't sing in the throat... I tried it today, and I could sing anything I tried....anything. I had to think about every single note, but it was possible. I sang for two hours straight today, whereas just three days ago, I was struggling through a phrase. Its amazing. I can't explain it. It feels surreal. Like a miracle. It feels like this is a dream and I'm going to wake up and not be able to again. I am so excited. I basically have to learn to sing all over again, but I can do it. I sounded the same as I did before. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for this gift. I'm going to come out of this with a better voice than I had before, this is forcing me to learn the technique. I have to know where each vowel is placed, it is forcing me to really concentrate instead of shooting from the hip like I had done before. I was so excited today, I was shaking. I called Jackie so excited, naming off all the pieces I want to work on. I can't wait. I know that it will take work from here, but I know what I have to do and that makes all the difference. I'm so happy. So happy. Love you all.